My Negativity, Positivity, and Things That Keep Me Grounded!

"We all find our center in different ways." That's how the prompt of this challenge started. "What practice do you have that helps you stay grounded?"

When I first read that, I didn't know how to answer, I didn't want to take part in the challenge at first but something inside inspired me the answer. There are at least two things that help me stay in this reality.

Practice Zero: Living on Auto-pilot

Before I took my medications recently, my life stumbled into a strange routine. I said routine, but it's not that I did the same things every day, but I acted the same way every day. I start the day with a goal or a task, I do a few minutes or hours of it. I try to move to the next thing, I open some form of entertainment. At this point, it's still morning. Suddenly, the night comes. What happens between the morning and night is a series of procrastination and guilt. Not all of it is that bad, but variations of this story happened for months now....

I don't know when that started, but it doesn't happen as much anymore. After seeing a psychiatrist, I've been taking meds and I'm able to take risks again if small ones.

It's during my Auto-pilot days, that only two of the things that gave me comfort were positive ones, I haven't done them every day, but they kept me in check from going worse.

The First Practice

Talking with my Mother. I had a close relationship with both of my parents, but I have more one-to-one time with my Mother. She always reminds me of faith. Keeps me from going astray. She's, at the same time, the best relief from my Stress and one of the main causes of it. Disappointing her Hurts so much!

I'm technically a NEET who lives on his parent's money, and I'm at home most of the time, (I go out rarely, go with the family whenever we all go out, and sometimes I go shopping with my father, but that's another story.) I try to not give them any extra expenses so I pay for my internet and personal belongings, but when it comes to finance, my plan to earn a living from Hive might not succeed, and I've been posting less and less, only absorbed in microblogging on DBuzz and LeoFinance recently, I even lost my drive for art.

So, I feel useless.

But she always finds things to say that comfort me. It helps that she's a devout Muslim and I'm trying to be faithful to God as well.

We don't have special things we talk about. We just ask what you did and what are you going to do. She has her goals too and she has her own human flaws too, so I at least try to be the person she talks to when she gets stressed. This is why talking with my mother keeps me grounded in reality!

On the days I do that I usually do well for that day, even though mostly it's a form of procrastination that I'm even talking with her. I'm proud of this, and won't stop.

The Second Practice

Reading Qur'an. When people say it has a healing effect they're truthful. It's so good, sometimes I avoid it reading it just to not let my sour mood spoil its majesty.

The effect of Qur'an is gradual and doesn't come at once, but when I'm reflecting on the meaning of the words, I sometimes cry. God has so much mercy and we're wasting it. That's looking at it negatively. In a

I memorize many random verses, but I'm far from being able to read the entire book from memory like many admirable Muslims are. After all, two of my cousins are Qur'an memorizers.

On most days, I don't read Qur'an outside of Salat (the daily prayers) and normal praying. I listen to it on Youtube more than I read it, but the healing effect comes across even by just listening. Sometimes, when I'm really depressed, listening to it hurts because it brings me back to reality and what I'm missing.

That's why it keeps me grounded. It's a book that says "Allah has created everything good for you, so wake up, get up, go out there, and benefit from His Majesty's bounty." Sometimes you don't want to hear that, you just want to have finally a reason to give up. That sounds easier.

To avoid the right thing to do... Yeah, I'm that of a paradox.

The New Practice

What I talked about in this article mostly happened before I started having medications. I started late in July and more about it here. I'm getting better. I'm going full into art now, and my Digital Funding Tokens project that I've been building for months finally took off! I pray it stays at least this good for a while. إن شاء الله

What do you think

Thanks for reading this piece, it was longer than I meant it to. This is an entry to Dreemport's ThoughtfulPrompt Challenge. (Partner in the challenge: @penderis) - The prompt is from @thoughtfulposts's Monthly Prompt for August.

If you reached this far, I'm grateful. If you're new to my content, please check out my "Where to Start?" article

Please tell me in the comments what are your thoughts, and if you had similar depression swings as me, let's talk about it. You might feel better.

Salam (Peace)

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