Mariannewest Freewrite - The Sea Monster

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(Edited)

This post was inspired by today's 5-minute writing prompt in the Freewriters Community - HOOK IT !

Enjoy !

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Image created by AI in NightCafe Studio

A dozen crew lined the caravel's rail, bracing themselves against the storm. Some even lashed themselves to the uprights to avoid being washed overboard.

The small ship pitched and rolled as the storm clouds boiled overhead and waves crashed against the hull. Captain Rodrigo clutched onto the rail of his quarterdeck, scanning the horizon and the foam as storm waves broke on the nearby lee shore anxiously. That shore with it's rocks was getting far too close, and the storm was blowing the ship towards it.

Then he called to his crew, "There it is ! Hook it ! Quick, before it goes beneath the surface again !"

The monster had risen right off the starboard beam of the caravel, sea green in colour, covered in sharp spines and with huge jaws full of sharper teeth. It was nearly as big as the ship itself.

Half the crew cowered back, screaming in fear. Anger this monster and it could kill them !

But two of them, old Sarm and his son Zermel showed no fear. Sarm had told his son what to do; get a hook into the beast's mouth and it would be too focused on that to attack the ship.

"Together now ! Three, two, one... THROW !" The grizzled old man cried.

He and his son threw their harpoons with all their might. The barbed weapons trailing their ropes flew straight and true, both into the sea monster's mouth. Sarm and Zermel quickly turned the free ends between belaying pins.

The monster howled in pain and anguish, and started to thrash it's way out to deeper waters where it could dive and escape the pain. Behind it at great speed, the ship was towed away from the lee shore that would have destroyed it.



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6 comments
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Absolutely brilliant, descriptive, immersive and engaging! It's almost miraculous how much you were able to cram into such a short story. Well done! You are very talented! That is a very special skill. I tend to be horribly long winded and find it very difficult to summarize or cut down on my word count. Well done!

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Thank you - it's a skill I've had to work hard at ! I worked out that Hive creative writing posts have a "sweet spot" of being about a 3-6 minute read. Anything longer and people just lose interest. So I trim out a lot of the descriptive detail and try to paint a picture by focusing on a few words with lots of cultural baggage that can do the job 😁

It always feels like a bit of a cheat, but it works. I've promised myself that one day I'll re-write the tales with the added bits and try publishing them, but I'll have to find a speech-to-text app to help, the arthritis in my left hand means that most longer posts at present involve copious amounts of Voltarol gel or ibuprofen.

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