Life, as it Unfolds: What Were Your "Defining Moments?"
As part of the human experience, we are faced with lots of decisions every day. Most of them are pretty small and insignificant in the context of greater existence, and most of the rest are perhaps more important, but still fairly straightforward.
But every now and then, we face situations where we have to make a choice that later turns out to have been one of the defining moments of our lives.
And they aren't always obvious, at least at the time. Sometimes, it can be decades before we look back and realize that a simple choice we made 20 years ago let us down a path that made all the difference in the world in our life!
These defining moments in our lives aren't necessarily always great nor do they have a positive outcome every time. The thing is, sometimes we may have made the wrong decision and it's years before we realize that we should have gone in a different direction.
People have often felt that one of my defining moments surely must have been my choice to go to the USA to go to University. After all, that was pretty different from what most of my friends chose, and the far more logical choice for me at the time would have been to have gone to University in the UK.
But that choice wasn't actually my defining moment. My defining moment was deciding to stay in the USA after my initial year was completed. In the original plan, I was only supposed to be here for one year.
Another defining moment came just a few years later, although I was more aware - at the time - that this was an important decision.
That was the decision to start a business with the college friend of mine, rather than choose the safer route of going to work for some big company. And I have plenty of offers because I had excellent grades. However, I really did not feel like working for somebody else.
In a sense, that particular decision was life-changing because it started me down the road of not following convention, at least as it related to how I chose to work.
Even though I ended up "going to work for others" for brief periods at later times, it pretty much set the tone for the remainder of my life, and I have never felt "at home" in places of employment run by others.
Do I have "issues with authority?" Not necessarily, but — like many who are self-employed — I am often able to "see the best way" to accomplish something and fid it frustrating to feel forced to follow a different and less efficient path.
In a sense, that brings me to "multiple" defining moments from my early life, mostly centered around the idea "does not play well with others."
In current-day "popular lore" people would probably try to give me a hall pass by stating that I am "on the spectrum" but I'm not looking for a "get out of jail free" card.
In truth, I have pretty solid boundaries and am simply not naturally inclined to be a so-called "team player."
Even when I played football (soccer) a lot, I was the goalie, which is a more solitary position.
Finally — and perhaps not least — it was a "defining moment" when I decided to move from Texas after 25 years, and live somewhere by choice, rather than because circumstances planted me there.
Pretty much all the places I had spent time up to that point had been the result of circumstances beyond my control (mostly), or at least circumstances that would have made it extremely difficult and uncomfortable to go against the flow.
And that's an important one to me, because the outcome has been very positive!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great week ahead!
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Created at 2023-11-05 15:57 PDT
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My decision to “quit money” for a few years was probably the biggest one for me. I didn’t stick with it but it allowed me to focus entirely on healing, even as I lived in near homeless conditions at times. I became able to observe society from outside which after healing allowed me to re-enter without the emotional baggage I was carrying my whole life and kind of redefine how I interact with people based on my ideals. Kind of learned to walk the walk I guess
Ah yes, I understand that one, too. In a sense, my decision to work for myself was part of that because I never saw it as a path to riches, but a path to being able to work my own way. And — indeed — I was homeless (outside) for about 3 months, and homeless (in my car) for a different 5 month period. It helped me make peace with the fact that I really DO identify as a Human BE-ing, not a Human HAVE-ing or a Human DO-ing.
Ironic, in some ways. I have a business degree from a top University, and what I learned is that I want very little to do with that world!
really?? All the cool people are homeless for a bit :-P
I am trying to human Do while I human Be, but I'll always choose the latter if forced to choose.
I feel we just have to be careful to make right choices or decisions
Any single decision we make today may have a say in our lives forever
As long as we do our best, that is really all we can expect of ourselves! Usually that's enough, but there are rare occasions when even our best will not get us what we want. Choosing carefully is definitely important!