What We're TRULY Looking For... and How There Are Those Who Exploit it...
Having spent a lot of time in the psychology and self-development field, I perhaps have a more jaded and cynical view of humanity than most... particularly when it comes to sketchy people's motivations.
Perhaps it is a product of our day and age that many become almost obsessive about reaching their goals and desires, going to great lengths to get exactly what they believe they want.
I'm not sure there is actual blame to be laid anywhere, although I expect that 1980s "you can be anything you want and you DESERVE it!" culture certainly had an influence on how we approach life. We may have better lives, but we also enter adult life with higher expectations.
So anyway, you have these situations in which people feel they have to have certain things - from success to fame to amazing love - or their lives will be "incomplete" in some way.
As a consequence, they will take extraordinary measures to obtain what they want. This includes spending lots of money on books, and seminars, and workshops, and personal coaches and more.
Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that there are also going to be those — including people who actually are not qualified to do so — who will take advantage of that drivenness.
I'm not referring to legitimate sources of advice, but to those who seek not to advise but purely to profit from people's obsessions. This can take the form (in the extreme) of near-cultish offerings, whether it's seminars that require you to join "schools" that last for several years and cost thousands of dollars, or "matchmaking" programs with outlandish fees that actually do very little to ensure a better chance at love than randomly meeting people at a supermarket.
Some might just say that "buyer beware" applies here, but let's keep in mind that it is our fears that are being pandered to, and those who are in a state of fear are typically not thinking clearly. So insisting that they should have the clarity of mind to recognize that five sessions of professional psychotherapy to address their insecurities would be a lot more effective than a $3,000 seminar from some nutjob likely isn't helpful.
After all, you (as the one giving advice) isn't living down inside that fear!
I got to thinking about all this after catching a bit of an investigative program about a group who was more or less ripping people off by preying on their desperation at not having a life partner. And these people were basically charging huge sums of money for (essentially) encouraging people to substitute fantasy and imagination for reality... often with very unfortunate outcomes; even a suicide or two.
Of course, it is easy to point fingers at the "victims" and claim that we should all be "aware and self-reliant." And that they voluntarily paid their life savings for little more than hope and smoke and mirrors.
But life is not always so simple, is it? I think back to some of the many workshops and seminars I attended in my 20s and 30s — as part of "finding myself" — and I am grateful that the folks offering the workshops were ethical enough to regularly turn away those who were trying to use the workshops in place of actual counseling, to change a situation and mindset that needed FAR MORE than just a spendy seminar to be changed!
Be careful out there, folks! Not everyone has your best interests at heart!
Thanks for stopping by and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2023-10-12 07:41 PDT
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Very true. I think Social Media like Facebook and Instagram have certainly increased the pressure to acquire more, have more, need more …. Everyone posting photos of their holidays, their homes, their cars, their girlfriends … fake or real who knows, but people buy in and suddenly want and need all of these things. It’s not easy for kids growing up with all this stuff crammed down their throats. We lived in better times in the 70’s and 80’s. Sure we had TV commercials but we were able to turn it off and get away from it all. It’s not so easy to turn it off these days.
I can't help but think that we somehow lost touch with our priorities. We sold this idea that "we can have it all" and so most choices in life were replaced by this notion that we deserve choice A, B, and C, rather than choice A, B or C. And somehow, most bought into the idea that they were "failures" — as human beings — if they didn't get those things.
Apologists for the current state of affairs point to the idea that more options is a sign that life is better, but is that really true? Somehow, I think we had more appreciation for what we had, when we had fewer choices... now much more is just taken for granted.
Very true. I’m trying to appreciate the very simple things in life. A good long walk in the autumn leaves. That’s all I really need. Soon it will be snow … and I will look forward to that. All we really need is whatever Nature brings us each day. Nothing else.
I don't even believe most of the things I see online anymore so I won't put myself under unnecessary pressure
The internet is full of fake things...
Absolutely! Most of the Internet is little more than "smoke and mirrors." Sadly, things keep progressing in a negative direction because a lot of people believe what they see and read online.
You make a lot of valid points. There are many types of people running programs to bilk people out of their money. Those that fall for these are those who do not believe in their own selves, nor do they have faith in trusting their own intuition. Fear keeps them vulnerable and until they face those fears head on they will continue to search outside themselves for answers.
Fact! People don't believe in themselves, and they feel uncomfortable if they don't feel like they have/do "what everyone else" has or does... and that usually ends up becoming a dead-end street.
I love your content @denmarkguy Many times the loneliness factor makes some people fall into that situation of seeking to fill those voids, perhaps they are dominated by those emotions to think of having a perfect life, which is far from reality. Greetings.
Thanks for the kind words @cautiva-30!
I think it is important to stay mindful of what it is that is really troubling us, when we pursue things to fill the voids inside. For example, loneliness cannot really be healed by putting "things" in its place; you have to find true connections with other, and also with yourself.