Forgiving Oneself and Letting Go

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You left home when you were seventeen and spent time with your friends while you lived with your uncle. You held grudges against your own father and what they are, I wish you'd share with us to lighten your burden.

At times you'd say how you wished he was still alive then you'd do better.
He was gone a long while ago, what can you do?
If there are things you love to have done for him,
rest assured you did them forward - to us your offspring, and to others too.

Lines on your forehead speak so well, of years gone by and much love shared,
so whatever it is that you feel so sorry about, release them now,
rid them from your heart forever, and don't live with a guilt-ridden soul.

This was drafted while I was attending to Dad at the hospital some time ago. He'd been hinting at some deep regrets through his tales of his own father but refused to share what he did. While he is so open and straightforward when talking about other things, he's so elusive in that particular subject and he only brings it out when he feels so vulnerable (i.e. when he's sick) to the point that he becomes so emotional about it and cries.

My Dad, my two sisters, and I used to go to my grandparents each weekend and spend time with them when I was still in high school. From our observation, things were fine between them so it baffles us that our father had been hiding something all this time.

My grandpa was a very reserved man and one who seemed to not have any ounce of anger in him. He spent most of the last decade of his life visiting his friends and relatives before he went to the beyond 25 years ago. I think he touched many lives as shown by the outpouring of support during his wake until the day of his interment.

I believe that at some point in our lives, there are things that we wish we could have done or said, but then missed the chance to do so. All too often, those things make us feel compunctious when we get to remember them. It becomes unhealthy when we let them weigh us down. We know for sure that the only way to release the burden from our hearts is to forgive ourselves. Of course, that's easier said than done. I know all too well because I have had my own battles of such years ago.

It got me to the point where I felt so sensitive, defensive, and alone. It wasn't until I had some reflections that I realized how my life was getting wasted because of things I had no control over. That was when I decided to rid myself of the emotional baggage, start gaining back my good spirits, and live better again. Since then, I become intentional about being forgetful of things that don't contribute to my joy and well-being. It's a tough thing to do at first but it gets easier over time.

I do hope that my own father (and others out there who are hurting) will do the same thing - forgive themselves, let go of what they cannot do, and embrace a life with little to no regrets.

Happy new week and let's start afresh!

Lead image by RDNE Stock Project. 13112023/11:30ph

Posted Using InLeo Alpha

hive-106316 regrets reflection feelings family life intentions ctp leofinance
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44 comments
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Ramdam ko ang sakit. Ako naman, di masyado close sa tatay dahil strikto. Sobrang close kay nanay. Pero okay naman na si tatay, di gaano strikto habang lumalaki kami. Hindi lang sya showy magpakita ng pagmamahal sa min. Pero may regrets sya dahil hindi kami masyado naging close sa kanya at nag-sorry pa sya bago magpa-opera. Namatay sya four days after nung surgery.

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At least nagsorry sya before he left which made you feel better din siguro. May mga tao talaga na iba ang way to show their love and care. Ganon din tatay namin. Strikto sya pero close pa din ako sa kanya.

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It's very important to let go of emotional baggage especially the one we have little or no control over, peace is the most important thing to me and I've learned to let go of any kind of burden or grudge or anything at all weighing me down.

This is so inspiring to read on Monday morning ma'am.

Have a great week.

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That's very true, Amie. It's good you learned it well and not letting yourself carry unnecessary burdens. Not the easiest thing to do but it's the only way we can free ourselves. Thank you as well, !LADY. Cheers to the new week.

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I think it is mostly because of the ego of a man, the head of a family who would hold their feeling for themselves. But yeah we should not take grudges to ourselves, since it will pull your happiness away.
!LUV !PIZZA

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That might be true. I also feel my Dad is trying to keep his own pride hehe.

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Forgiving ourselves is very necessary and each situation don't remain in our side.

The first para was very emotional. I don't know it's a poem or not but each line was very powerful and I could understand the meaning of each word. While I was reading my breathing became heavy. It's an amazing one
!LUV

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That's true, Inti. Forgiving is tough, more so when it's ourselves that is concerned. Sorry if the phrases made you feel heavy. They were products of my emotions during that day.

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Sorry if the phrases made you feel heavy

Nothing to say sorry it was because I understand the actual meaning of those lines and I appreciate you because you were quite capable of showing your emotion perfectly through writing. It's not an easy task.

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he only brings it out when he feels so vulnerable (i.e. when he's sick) to the point that he becomes so emotional about it and cries.

This was EXACTLY my Dad in hospital last week. I made him buy some noise cancelling headphones so next time he can listen to some good music so he doesn't concentrate on regret instead.

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Oh... hope he gets better soon. It's hard to see those we love being consumed by regret at some point. Wish there was an easy way to help them.

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Thank you for sharing this. Forgiveness tends to reduce a great burden on one’s soul. When you forgive and move on it feels like a whole rock which was pressing you down has been taken off.

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Thank you too :) And I couldn't agree more with what you said. Regrets are heavy to keep carrying them.

!LUV

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Thank you for sharing this message. Holding unto regrets is never helpful but letting go even when it's not okay is the best e can do..

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You're right about that, while it is hard to do, it's the only way we can make peace with whatever past mistakes we have done.

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Yeah, it's very hard to do especially when you are indebted to such person and you can't just let them go

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That's the challenge for one to get through with.

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I wonder how your Dad must feel with these reflections he's having. Whatever it is, it must hurt him pretty badly. I hope he can forgive himself for whatever it is. And I thank you for the good wishes that I'll carry for the remainder of this week. I do hope you're doing alright dear friend.💜

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I'm inclined to think that he must have done something he feels so sorry about. I do hope he does that and move on. Thank you too, Tessa for your kind input and wishes. We are doing fine here, hope you're having a great start of the week :)

!LUV

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It wasn't until I had some reflections that I realized how my life was getting wasted because of things I had no control over

We all are at some point experiencing this. I had the same realization recently, and I had a lot of regrets for living in the past and wasting time over things I had no control over rather than accepting the fact and living the present gratefully.

forgive themselves, let go of what they cannot do, and embrace a life with little to no regrets.

I hope it's easy noh? But it will remain deep within our minds.
However, forgiving is the only way to be free. It's just, sometimes we are stubborn to do what is right 🥲

!LADY!LUV

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It's always hard the first time, especially when the regret or hurt is too much. But once we truly let go, that's where the real peace is (at least that's what I found out based on my personal experiences)

Hope you will find your peace too, sis :)

!LUV

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Forgiveness is key and it helps us to be free from the yoke and burden of hatred.

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Exactly. We know it too well but most times, we refuse to do it.

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That's just the absolute truth

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There are many things that did not happen deliberately so we have to forgive ourselves if whatever mistake we make
It is really important

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That's right, !LADY. And even when they were done deliberately, we still need to allow ourselves forgiveness.

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