I Am #AliveAndThriving Today! || #IAmAliveChallenge || Daily Off-Grid Jungle Journal Entry: Day #597 - On the Edge of Heaven and Hell - GaiaYoga Gardens, Lower Puna, Far East Big Island, Hawai'i - Saturday, March 16, 2024

I live naked and barefooted, very close to Earth and Nature, in an 18-acre, off-grid, clothing-optional, food-forest intentional community (GaiaYoga Gardens), way out in the jungles of Lower Puna, far East Big Island, Hawai'i, and I have for more than 5 years now. Although there are many challenges, I love my life, and I'm immensely grateful to live where and how I do, on my own terms! I would not want to live any other way! 😁🙏💚⚡💥🔥✴️✳️❇️👣🌱✨🤙

Warm greetings all! 😁🙏💚✨🤙

On the edge of heaven and hell. That's what it feels like in my present state; so close, and yet so far. Internal knots in my heart that I don't yet know how to untie. The potent masculine electric fire of my heart sun was still blasting out in all directions only a few days ago, Wednesday night being when it began to falter, and then by Thursday morning, with particular triggers, my heart closed and went dark once again. I'm the one that closed it, and I'm the only one that can open it once more.

Loving, accepting, appreciating, having confidence, and believing in myself, not taking what others (especially women) say or do personally, trusting God and Life, choosing to keep my heart open, and allowing my electric masculine heart fire to shine forth, regardless of what is happening to me or around me, is my very challenging lesson at this time. It's a lot easier just to stay to myself up at the Flow House, and focus on Hive and the other sovereignty-driven technologies, than it is to intentionally go outside of my stagnant comfort zone to face these painful things that trigger me to shut down and withdraw.

Facing what triggers me, what I'm afraid to look at or confront, is exactly how to move through and to heal this, and to finally move to the next level of my life, that has been knocking on the door of my heart for quite some time now. It's Sunday Funday, the day I had planned to go out with people to go to ecstatic dance, our beloved clothing-optional beach (Kehena), and the Lawn afterward, and yet, due to my non-optimal mental-emotional state, I'm staying in the jungle, spending my Sunday alone once again, up at the Flow House, to focus on Hive and a few important tasks. Facing my fear and going out today is probably more important, and what I should do, but yeah, not today.

Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, and leaning into my fears, would be a very good practice for me, and it's also what my wounded parts want to avoid the most. I'm not where I was, but I'm not yet where I want to be, and to get to where I want to be, I need to accept where I am now.

It was cloudy and rainy all day yesterday, Saturday, which matched my mood. After finishing up on Hive, I left the Flow House a little after 2:30PM, straining out kefir for my kefir-honey-cinnamon-cacao blend first. Although I was not at all inspired to work outside, I did muster enough energy to grab a pickaxe to rebury some electrical conduit in the throughway in front of Tutu's. I got into a conversation with Zai in Tutu's after that on making mead, which is something that we both want to do.

Once our conversation came to an end, I brought a full propane tank and some popcorn to the other side of the property to the Landing. I replaced the empty propane tank there, then I made my yummy spicy popcorn. Zai and Harmony shared the finished version with me, while I shared with them my recent challenges that I've been describing here. Once the popcorn and our conversations were done, I headed back to the Flow House to jump into my evening round of Hive tasks and catching up on notifications, which I was able to complete a little after 9:30PM. After a quick round of token management, I went to bed a little after 10PM. Unfortunately I did not sleep well, yet again, sleeping a little, but remaining awake most of the night. I finally started on a round of token management around 7:30AM, and I got out of bed around 8:30AM to go make my superfood fire coffee.

It's now close to 1:15PM, so an excellent time to end this post, so that I can get to a few important Hive tasks. Neva just got in touch with me, expressing interest in spending some time with me going on a plant walk, and doing energy exercises together. That was quite a surprise indeed. I told her that I'd be free as soon as I got things on Hive done. I deeply appreciate you all so very much! Until my 94th Sunday Weekly Hive Goals and Progress Update tonight, and the next incarnation of this post tomorrow! Forward, onward, and upward, joyfully together! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙

2024 Life Goals

1.) Heal my broken heart and embody a solid, healthy masculine. 

2.) Bring myself and my life back into balance, integration, and wholeness. 

3.) Do regular integral practices again. 

4.) Make my plant nursery beautiful again. 

5.) Prepare regular batches of my medicinal teas collected from the land again. 

6.) Begin learning relevant coding/programming languages to more fully contribute to the sovereignty-driven technologies where I am active, like Arch Linux, Hive, Qortal, DeSo, and Bastyon. 

7.) Get regular deep, integral energy-body-tantric work healing sessions with women flowing again.

8.) Live as an integral part of a juicy heart-resonant soul tribe community, with deep, coherent, mutual and shared passion, purpose, mission, love, warmth, care, sweetness, reverence, respect, aliveness, admiration, excitement, joy, playfulness, work, attraction, all-level connections, and relationships. 

9.) Make love with the women that I love every day.

All photos were taken with my Motorola G Power Android Phone.

Thank you all so much who have helped me get to where I am today, and allowing me to share more of the beauty and magic from my life and my world with you, and for your continuous appreciation and support! I am truly deeply grateful! 😁🙏💚✨🤙

If you'd like to find me on other alternative platforms where I have accounts (I spend most of my time here on Hive), click on this signature image below to go to my LinkTree page.

If you'd like to send me a BTC Lighting Tip (made possible by the fantastic work of brianoflondon on @v4vapp), just scan the QR image below. 👇

Signature image created by @doze, and the dividers made by @thepeakstudio, with all tweaked to their present form by me.