Expectations, Anger... and Hope
Most of us encounter people who are angry about this and that from time to time. Some are angry a lot more than just "from time to time," so much so it almost comes across as a lifestyle...
Most of the time they are justified, although I have noticed — over about the last 10-15 years or so — that anger seems to be becoming a more normal thing in this complex world of ours.
But why?
Well, why do we get angry, in the first place?
The short answer typically goes along the lines of something in our reality not being as expected; somehow falling short of expectations. I have read quite a few descriptions of anger as our bodies telling us that something isn't as we would want it to be.
Expectations...
I suspect much of the world's anger is related to expectations, but maybe not exactly in the way many people might think.
What DO we expect?
When we experience anger because something falls short of our expectations, maybe we'd do well to examine how we arrived at those expectations.
Over the years — because I do work quite a bit with the self-development industry — I have noticed that much of this anger can be attributed less to actual failures and people's shortcomings than to something being inherently unrealistic about the original goal.
This tends to apply whether we're talking about a fancy dinner, a relationship or even life, itself. I listen to people share their stories and the first thing that comes to mind is that it has been so thoroughly ingrained in us that virtually everything is supposed to "rock our world" that coming up short is almost a given, when viewed in the context of the world as it really is.
But the thing about the world is that it isn't that amazing, all the time. And if we operate under the impression that it "should" be, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment... our expectations are not met, and then anger and frustration starts to set in. We feel entitled to the golden life...
I gave up on having expectations a long time ago. That doesn't mean I'm some sort of nihilist, it just means that I have traded in having expectations for having hopes instead.
For example, this weekend Mrs. Denmarkguy and I will be doing our final arts and crafts show of the season, and I definitely hope it will be very successful, but I hold no expectations that it will be anything in particular. I have been burned too often...
Maybe closer to "home" I see a lot of frustration and occasional anger over crypto not having made people X amount of money... I certainly hope it will, but at the same time I hold no expectations.
I have previously written about the way US culture tends to idolize the extremes of success, completely disregarding simply "doing really well." But it leaves us disappointed when we fare less well than the person at the very pinnacle of whatever we desire. And then... anger.
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Created at 2024.12.13 00:38 PST
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Well, I suspect that it is not always precisely "anger" but disappointment what we really get out of our expectations nowadays. Because regardless of whether they are hopes or expectations what we actually desire from others and from the world around us in general. It is certainly a bit of a let down and a bit of a disheartening to see a continuous decline, decay and dead end street in those simple things that until recently were and worked much better than now.
Perhaps it's best summed up in the thought that it's not so much that people expect to do less to get what they want, but the infamous "they" have moved the goal posts to where it becomes much harder to live up to our hopes/expectations.
Yep, that's true. And the most compelling proof of this can be observed in the formidable decline of the formal education system around the world in which our youth and this new generation of young people cannot trust whatsoever as a mean to live up to their hopes/expectations.
The masks of the 'Power that be' have fallen and the old plot, tactics and strategies of indoctrination and control by governments, states and corporations over the young population can no longer keep them confused and adrift chasing mirages.
Anger tends to be normal but anger is destructive both to the offender and the one being offended
True, anger definitely can be very destructive.