Psychological Hoarding; Throwing Away Old Notes and Papers, Part 453...
Recently, I did a lot of tax accounting, as a result of which I had to dig out a whole bunch of paperwork. And looking through various boxes to find this paperwork paperwork, I also came across lots of folders containing writing notes.
When I say "writing notes" what I mean is all the loose sheets of paper and small pieces of notepad upon which I have scratched down ideas for articles I wanted to write someday. I certainly have had lots of good intentions!
The more I looked at the contents of these folders, the more I realized that most of the ideas were "stale", or if they weren't stale they definitely weren't about anything I am interested in writing about anymore!
In some odd way, it all seemed like an object lesson in the importance of "forging while the iron is hot," when it comes to creative endeavors.
Made me also think about hoarding and particularly psychological hoarding... because not all hoarding involves towers of stacked newspapers and used egg cartons. Sometimes we fill our minds with ideas we become afraid to let go of.
The notes and papers in those folders were less about ideas than about my own fear of missing or forgetting a great idea.
But why? It's not like I'll never have another idea...
I've read theories that such mental hoarding comes from old trauma. As of yet, I am not sure what...
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Created at 2023-10-11 01:25 PDT
0952/2207
I do that too. Anytime I remember something, I tend to put it down in a paper before I forget but at the end of the day, I may end up not using the paper anymore
Maybe it's something a lot of people do. I find that once I have written down an idea it often becomes less important than it seemed before I wrote it.
I do exactly the same on my laptop. Make notes on notepad with different file names and I end up getting confused as to why I wrote that down lol
I do that a lot. I learned — through experience and that same confusion — to name all my files of notes "scatchpad-YYMMDD" (year/month/date) so I at least have some sense of why a file even exists... and at least they'll end up sorted by date!
Paper hoarding was a big one for me. When I first started on my "purging stuff" work, one of my strategies was to group all like items together. It kind of helped to wrap my head around how much of it I had. And WOW did I have a lot of paper. Like, a closet full. And no, I'm not being hyperbolic.
It was definitely a trauma-anxiety response for me; I was told by a psychologist I had OCD but I consider myself cured of that now because I don't really engage in those behaviors anymore. Like, I'm still a little anal, not gonna lie, but nothing like I was. At one point in my life, I was counting my breaths or my blinks. It was bad.
These days, purging stuff feels really good, whereas when I started it was like pulling teeth. It's true what they say, that it's like building muscle - it gets easier the more you practice. :)
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! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoOh, I'm sure you're not being hyperbolic. I learned in counseling — many years ago — that my propensity for writing things down on note paper or in endless journals had a lot to do with "not feeling seen" as a kid (and beyond) so I would "record" my life and things that happened as a sort of proof to myself that I actually existed.
I still have a walk-in closet that contains moving boxes, some of which have not been opened in 15 years. Most of them contain "records" of something or other. I'm slowly unpacking them and getting rid of the contents. My local bank runs a "free security shredding" service once a quarter, and I have a deal with myself to always take something to every one of these.
Ooh that sounds like a good strategy to keep yourself chipping away at it, re: the shredding!