On Receiving Advice and Well-Meaning Armchair Experts!

I guess it's just part of the human condition that a lot of people believe they "know things."

Heck, I believe I know things, but one of the things I believe I know is that I should probably keep my mouth shut unless I'm being asked to contribute! Or — in extreme cases — I might cautiously ask "could you use some help with that?"

The Spirit of Advice

I suppose most advice is ultimately offered from a well-meaning place, regardless of whether it is solicited or not. Sure, some people are chronic busy-bodies, but they strike me as being a minority.

Personally speaking, I'm definitely not afraid to ask for advice when I can't figure out how to do something. And I have no problem with other people knowing more than me (the "pride" issue) and myself coming off as not being very knowledgeable about something. It always baffles me how that seems to be a tremendous struggle for some people who almost compulsively have to establish their intellectual superiority in virtually every situation they encounter.

Regardless of intent, I have generally considered myself pretty open to taking advice.

What Kind of "Expert" Are You?

Typically, though, I prefer that advice to come from authentic experts rather than from somebody who read a couple of articles on the Internet and now considers themselves the World Authority on something, whether that be plumbing or how to build a neutron drive for a spaceship.

I guess the thing that sometimes bugs me about unsolicited advice is that it tends to completely ignore the possibility that I might already be an expert on the subject I am wrestling with. And periodically I'm just talking out loud to myself. I'm not suggesting that somebody who's not an expert at something wouldn't have a valid suggestion, I just don't always need to hear it when I'm in the middle of something!

And then there are a few things I am authentically an expert on, and I happen to be doing a couple of those as my small businesses that I have been running for the better part of 30 years!

Armchair Experts and eBay Idiots!

What brought on this mini rant, was that yet another armchair expert who decided to take it upon themselves to write to me (at considerable length) concerning some of the 1800s Danish postage stamps I have listed for sale on eBay, and how they were "not correctly identified" in this person's opinion.

Now, I'm always open to the possibility that I genuinely made a mistake so I took this person's words seriously... but it only took me about two minutes to determine that they had absolutely no idea what they were talking about!

Mrs. Denmarkguy always says I have the patience of a saint, because I will actually take the time to sit down and respond to such an inquiry — with relevant illustrations — telling them exactly why they are wrong and I am right. Somehow I feel like it is my duty to the rest of the people out there who are trying to do similar things to myself to keep this person from bugging them at some future time! Sure, I'm dispensing "unsolicited advice," but am I REALLY?

The Age of "Letting Things Slide"

Maybe that all sounds snide, incredibly arrogant and self-important, but I don't think anybody gains anything by letting something that is clearly wrong slide.

And when we look beneath the surface, maybe that is exactly what this post is about. Not letting things slide.

We seem to be living in this age where some half-assed good-enough version of life is always treated as acceptable, and if you even dare to comment on that... you're the one who is at fault rather than the person who is making a mistake being at fault.

In some sense, it feels parallel to the whole "participation prize" mindset in schools... Whereas I see nothing wrong with acknowledging people's efforts, there's also a point at which it insults and diminishes the worth of genuine talent/expertise!

I just think that if we continually stand by and allow a bunch of incorrect assumptions to slide by we don't really retain the right to complain about how things are falling apart... when we actually had the opportunity to do something to correct something!

That's just my opinion of course, and I don't expect anybody to agree with it or share it.

Armchair Therapists...

But I guess the area in which this sort of thing troubles me the most is when we get into the intangibles of life, such as giving advice on issues of psychology and mental health. Everybody seems to have an opinion on how —for example — somebody needs to get over their grief, but they actually know nothing about healing from grief. Or whatever the situation might be.

Again, a large part of this is likely the result of our living in this always-on, instant publication world of 24/7 connectivity and social media. 10 seconds with Google, and people jump into the middle of someone else's chaos and present themselves as offering "expert advice."

And I'm actually loath to suggest that it's even anybody's fault, so to speak. It simply is. But we can speak up when there is all but no doubt that something is based on incorrect information!

Anyway, I just needed to air that all out and now I'll go back to go about my day!

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you're having a great weekend!

Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation! I do my best to answer comments, even if it sometimes takes a few days!

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Created at 2023-07-15 15:38 PDT
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