A Fool For A King, Or, A King For The Fools

This post was inspired by today's 5-minute writing prompt in the Freewriters Community - KING OF FOOLS

Enjoy !

Image created by AI in NightCafe Studio

They called it a revolution. It wasn't. They said it was the people overthrowing the tyrannical King Agilistos. It wasn't. What it really was, was a palace coup.

The nobles, led by Pisoros and Marilos, had long since subverted King Agistilos' Royal Guards. It's amazing what a bit of gold will do, paid to Captain Philoron their commander with a little bit trickled down to the men and the promise of more to follow.

So it was that Pisoros and Marilos strode into the throne room, two score of Royal Guards trotting along behind them.

The King was well and truly into his fourth krater of strong red wine, slumped on his throne and barely aware when strong hands pulled him from his comfy seat and threw him down the steps. It was Philoron who cut his head off with a sharp bronze leaf-shaped sword and held it up for all to see. Wine still trickled from the dead man's lips.

Marilos turned to Pisoros with a smile, and said smoothly, "It should be I who takes the throne, after all I am the more senior of the two of us."

His colleague and erstwhile friend frowned. "No, it should be I. My lands are more extensive and productive than yours, so I can draw on the tithe needed to keep us both wealthy and happy."

Captain Philoron grinned at both of them and, waving his still bloody sword around, said boastfully, "You are both nobles, but I command the Royal Guard. Swords beat titles any time."

It was an impasse. Marilos held status, Pisoros wealth, and Philoron warriors. Each could only rule with the support of the other two, and none could rule alone.

Then Marilos had an idea. A crafty grin spread across his face. "What if none of us was King, but all three of us working together could control one we appoint as King ?"

This seemed like a great idea, and it fell to Pisoros to find the perfect candidate.

"You ! Hylaros ! You were the old tyrant's court fool. Well, sit on that chair, wear that purple cloak (sorry about the blood stains).... you're king now. All hail King Hylaros !"

Poor Hylaros. He was used to cracking jokes and more often than not being the butt of everyone else's jokes, and not a few kicks to boot. He blinked a few times, then sheepishly sat on the throne.

"So umm.... do we gather everyone to announce it or something ? I'm just a fool, I don't know how these things work, that was Agilistos' job."

The three conspirators grinned. "Yes, yes, a coronation !" They thought it was a hilarious joke, the spectacle of this poor twisted little man being crowned king, to be mocked by the people while they controlled his every move safe from the scrutiny of the citizenry.

Two days later, the coronation was held. A ceremony of great pomp and solemnity, apart maybe from the bit where Hylaros tripped over the long cloak. But finally he was sat on the throne, looking embarrassed and unsure of himself as the assembled throng cheered him.

Then he sat up a little straighter. "I... I have three people to thank for this fine chair," he said, stammering slightly. "Step forward Pisoros, Marilos and Philoron. Oh, and why not bring forward the old king's two sons and the wife he married just a few weeks before his untimely death."

The three conspirators stepped forward, preening themselves, although slightly confused as to why the old king's two teenaged sons and the wife younger than both of them were also being shown to the crowd.

"So I'm really the king now ?" Hylaros chuckled.

"But before that, I was the fool. So let me do one last foolish thing. You, Garon, you're the newest recruit to the Royal Guards. You can be their captain now. But I want you and your men to cut down the five men standing before you and bring me their heads."

He was indeed the King. So his command was law. He also happened to know (because fools spot these things) that Garon had been abused and extorted by Philoron. Garon was only too happy with this strange turn of events, and obeyed with alacrity. The other Royal Guards could see which way the wind was blowing, so happily joined in the slaughter.

When it was done, poor Queen Olyana was left standing alone, spattered with blood, confused and terrified.

"Come sit next to me," Hylaros said to her gently. "You were a princess of Elas before you became a queen. Now, come and be my queen. I promise to treat you far better than the old drunkard you were forced to marry before. Your wisdom and kindness can help me ensure everyone in the Kingdom of Semilos lives happily in peace and prosperity."